　My mother's Buddhist service of 77-mourning (49-days) was finished on Sun., January 19, 2003, and our family temple was laid in the ashes. miraculously -- the number of the following 20-day "Touki's Dance Haiku HP " visitors -- 500 persons -- KIRI watch achievement was carried out. It is a thing when peeping into the storage-space-above-a-close cupboard which is on a closet that my mother's article left by the departed should be arranged in preparation for mourning for 49-days. One carton box discolored from the back has come out. It was the bunch of the creation note, letters, and manuscript which Tanaka Touki of boy ～ younger days wrote, and were collected.　And it contained some coterie magazine etc.

　Since it was when which considered the 500 person KIRI watch achievement commemoration special edition , my hand was involuntarily extended in the bunch of the old newspaper in this, or a coterie magazine. Although the printing work was a childish novel, it pulled back me like a stretch at the ancient times of boyhood, and I was absorbed in reading it. It was a novel "Snow" Showa 37 (1962) first. The Kyoto University newspaper office was the prizewinning novel winning work article of collection for national college students around Japan. It was "Burial" dealing with heavy snowfall experience of Nagaoka, Niigata Prefecture Showa 38(1963).

　Old creation notes,why it was kept in the closet storage-space-above-a-close cupboard of my deceased mother's room, and I asked in a short time myself in it. It is .which resembled the work reconnected suddenly while drawing in the thread of way piece broken memory till now. There is the memory which showed the Meiji woman's spirit as it being weak that a boy can wear into poetry and novels, and was reproached by my mother.

　Was it my solitary feeling which it collided with the bureaucrat by quick-tempered improper language of a stubborn father, as a result, my father losting his job, everydays changing poverty of our family bottom and my School life passed while refusing the allowance from a house? Was it the bitter recollections which the dream of a liberal-arts private university broke and had to make a wish change to the science National Universities?　The trace which must have been sealed in the inner part of the heart as remains of 40 years ago was a feeling near the root of the devil and panic which appeared ignited by a mother's death.
　It passed away by 93 years old of mothers on December 1, 2002 at 80 years old of fathers 23 years ago on December 17, 1979. It is shamefully 1 page of the history of myself, carrying out childish novels of youthful inexperience. I will want to introduce one by one, although it is a question very much about whether those who read sure enough is broken, rewriting such a nostalgic old work and making retouch correction for a while.

　Writing activities have been forgotten, and I think that I would like to live and go after this so that it may not leave regret to its rest of my life, being dyed poetry and a novel as much as possible so that corporate life for which I have been engaged in a research-and-development plan as an engineer 40 years may not be made useless.